Unloved lottery tickets – a good home right here!

I’ve mentioned before that the act of writing for me, is one of the best things about blogging.  However, my enthusiasm for pen to paper has been a little dampened due to my current necessity of having to complete job application forms.

Thank you for summarising WHY you are suitable for this position. clipartlord.com

Thank you for summarising WHY you are suitable for this position.
clipartlord.com

After writing up these weighty tomes even Dickens would have quivered at the thought of yet another second sat down putting quill to parchment.

When I first decided to give blogging a go, this site was always intended to be my “practise” site where I honed my blogging craft.  My plan was to make my pitiful mistakes here (and believe me, there has been a lot so far) in order to learn the skills necessary to make a much better “other blog”.  Mmmmmm….

All is at a crawl at the moment.

“Get job, then blog” has become my new mantra and centre of focus.

One positive though, (I am a pretty optimistic person by nature) is that the National Lottery fund must have risen considerably over the last couple of weeks and should now be able to supply at least a new hospital wing.

All this thanks to me, trying to improve my impending future financial crisis through a slip handed in at my local news agents.

I’ve just checked and the chances of winning the UK National Lottery is a 1 in 13,983,816 chance which is probably about the same equivalent as hearing back regarding a job.

Wish me job luck or a lottery win.  Actually, I think the latter would be preferable – full time blogging here I come!!!!

 

 

Posted in Humour, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Blogging and job application forms are not compatible!

Hi guys

I am going to have to apologise in advance for the lack of posts this week.  I meant it when I said I planned to write 3 a week.

KISS MY QWERTY!  Typing practise or hostility? openclipart.org

KISS MY QWERTY! Typing practise or hostility?
openclipart.org

However, as I am about to be made redundant in 4 weeks, I have had the joys of application forms to complete and in the words of the kids I work with:

“They are seriously loooooong, man!” 

At last count most seem to be between 9 and 12 pages!!!! 

Is anyone THAT interesting? 

I am not sure if YOU my blogging friends from around the globe also have this long-winded, frustrating phenomena?  Or do you still just have the delightfully short 2 page CV?

If so, lucky, lucky you.

Once the numbness in my  finger pads wears off, from all the pounding of keys I have had to endure in the name of finding another job, I will be back with a vengeance.

Speak soon.

FTB x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Followers, Humour, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Post It Man delivers

When I properly laugh, I look awful.  Eyes screwed up tight, doubled over, howling loudly and gasping for breath I’m surprised a concerned passer by has never called emergency services on my behalf.

Post It Man's boss was impressed with the temp's knowledge of phishing
Post It Man’s boss was impressed with the temp’s knowledge of phishing
openclipart.org

 My family almost had to call 999 the other day and I totally lay the blame with Post It Man (Well, that’s what I call him).

Leave my blog NOW and go here: notesfromtheboss.wordpress.com (for the un-initiated double click on the blue wording and it will take you there – hark at me, quite the blogging pro!)  COME BACK THOUGH, AFTER!

Ambulance anyone?

I’m not sure which part I find the funniest.  The absurdity of the notes, Post It Man’s disbelief that anyone could be so amazingly crass, his sarcastic barbs or his helplessness that his life is ticking away second by second filled with such banality?  Brilliant, brilliant stuff.

I have popped  another link to You tube for the British comedy The Office here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCCRSYwYe_8 for two reasons.

1.  Because, now I can.

2.  Post It Man/Tim – we feel your pain.

(Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself.  ***Phishing – a scam where the public are sent emails supposedly from legitimate businesses (like your bank) to con you into giving them your personal/account details etc.)

 

 

 

 

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mumsnet and me

Oh! It’s often the little things in life that makes us happy isn’t it?

Well for me it’s on the right, looks a lot like Charlie’s Angels being boiled in a pot and is my mumsnet logo.

Can you see the bit that says “Proud to be on mumsnet?” well, I am.  A few months ago I used to scroll through their threads and blogs and now I’M ON IT.  O.K, for some this might not seem a “giant leap” but for me, it’s huge.

I feel a bit like a brooding, caped crusader.  By day a working mum, travelling on an overcrowded train, far too close to other people’s sweaty armpits.  By night, a secret blogger, fighting for truth, justice and the blogging way.

Another daily rendezvous with a sweaty armpit awaits openclipart.org

Another daily rendezvous with a sweaty armpit awaits
openclipart.org

All this thanks to Jessie from the mumsnet bloggers team (apart from the Angels logo, I sorted that).

It all seemed so easy and it was initially.  Mumsnet logo for WordPress user?  Do this, that, shake it all about, hokey-cokey and hey presto, my blog was logoed.  Cool beans!

Then of course, I wanted more.  Much, much more and THAT’S when disaster struck.

Blurb describing my blog on mumsnet? Yes, that would be a good idea! Why stop there?  Why not add a picture (not of me!) but an image next to the blurb so my blog would be easily recognisable when readers scrolled through.  Oh yes, how the creative juices gushed.

NOT GOOD, PEOPLE!!!

I wanted the blurb to read “A naïve, non techie mum’s journey to blogging…etc” However, when saved to site it read “A n%”*e non techie mum’s journey… how the f%*k did I turn into an expletive?!  Help, Jessie!

An image 80×80.  Surely, you just type in “80×80” on the picture size?  Nope.  Hours of gnashing of teeth later…..Jessssieeee!

All those desperate attempts of typing “80×80” and “shrink and add picture” somehow duplicated my already c^&p blog blurb on Mumsnet.  JESSSSIEEEEE!

As an act of kindness, I have deleted the lovely Jessie’s email address forever to prevent me from turning her into a grimy jumpered, matt haired, crazy lady who throws traffic cones at unsuspecting bystanders for fun.

Jessie has I have earned my mumsnet badge and take my bloggers place on their site, in “humour” “miscellaneous” and “technology” with satisfaction and pride.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A gun stops me from blogging

Two days ago, when browsing through a collection of blogs on WordPress, I came across a post by an American blogger that stopped me in my tracks.

Most of the blog was light-hearted but as I delved further into past posts, I came across one outlining the virtues of one hand gun over another for personal protection.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS EGG?  Wanted by yokel police. openclipart.org

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS EGG?
Wanted by yokel police.
openclipart.org

Interacting with other bloggers has given me an unexplored new world.  People just like me, milling around, with work worries, bills, unresolved petty annoyances, dinners to make and GUNS tucked away in their underwear draw.

I knew of course that in America, many people have guns in their homes but this was the first time I properly understood.

We could not afford to buy a house in town, so almost live in the countryside.  Here, the lead story in the local free paper was once how a patrolling police car on Halloween night was pelted with eggs by teenagers.  Not exactly a crime wave.

I have worked in quite a tough secondary school (ages 11-16) for the last 10 years.  I would not have managed to last this long, if I was some retiring wall flower, unable to deal with difficulties.

I use these details to illustrate the contrast between my busy, colourful, noisy work life and the slower drone of home.  When we first moved here, I found the calm and peace surreal  but have grown to appreciate the protection it offers.

Almost in the countryside I’ve heard farmers distant gunshots but have barely noticed.

Now, guns are in my life and I am uneasy.

 

 

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Followers should be chums!

I have a serious problem with the term “follower” as I stated in my post of 31/5/2014. Here’s WHY.

Perhaps “follower” translates differently in other countries?  For me “follower” is a bit too close to “stalker” or “member of a very odd cult”.

Chums vs Pilgrims? Violet, fetch my smelling salts!  - liftarn/openclipart.org

Chums vs Pilgrims? Violet, fetch my smelling salts!
openclipart.org

Therefore, armed with a thesaurus I have made a list of alternative names for people “who like my blog and read it regularly” instead of that “f” word.

NOW I must add a disclaimer.  For all the word purists out there, I am aware that not all the words below equate to the “f” word.  I’ve chucked in a few I like, as I have poetic license.

Follower – we could  have:

  1. supporter  football fan
  2. adherent way to strict – NOT the right blog
  3. apostle, devotee, disciple, no, no, no!     
  4. fan quite like this but as I am not in a boy band a bit misleading/also have you ever seen the film Misery? Look what his biggest fan did  
  5. pupil I work in a school – so… no         Conclusion: None of these

A friend came up with Pilgrims or Roamers due to the idea of this being a journey to blogging.

  1. As I first thought she said aromas (ensuing a debate on just how smells/journeys are connected) no.  
  2. Pilgrims – I actually liked.  It hints of Chaucer: Canterbury Tales, bawdy stories, interesting people, fun…..cowboys and John Wayne.  To varied?  Conclusion: Pilgrims?

Lastly:

  1. Friend have I not seen this somewhere else on the internet, book/face???
  2. Companion an image of  a scented, genteel Victorian lady reaching for her smelling salts, pops to mind
  3. Buddy what an annoying uncle calls a disinterested teenager
  4. Chum not the pedigree variety,  but we are getting somewhere now ***
  5. Comrade, supporter  a bit to political
  6. allies same as above, we are not at war
  7. Playmate does anyone else find this as funny as I do?
  8. Well wisher mmmmm reminds me of hospitals??? Undecided

(***For visitors outside the UK, Pedigree Chum is a good quality dog food. Do not let this sway you in a negative way.  “Chums” is a good alternative term and at least it implies you have good teeth, healthy bones and shiny hair.)

As I think it is important you get a choice on what to be called,  I have added a poll for you to complete.  Let the games begin. Come on, chums!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 


 

 

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Are followers friends?

Since starting blogging, I have noticed as I read other people’s posts, write or answer comments…..a connection, almost the same as when I am speaking to people in “real life”.

It’s an odd feeling and I plan to look at it here.

Jo, took his online friendships to a whole new level deartheophilus openclipart.com
Joe, took his online friendships to a whole new level
– deartheophilus
openclipart.com

 I’ve been pondering over this question of on line friendships. On one of my expeditions around WordPress Reader (where you can read other blogs)  I stumbled across Opinionated Man’s site aopinionatedman.com  and realised I am not alone.  “Can you be friends with someone you’ve never met?”  questions and answers Suzi Jones.

Here’s my answer:  Yes, I think you can, sort of.

In the short time I have been blogging I have been spammed (yuck) as well as followed or contacted by genuine bloggers. Often they were replying to comments I’ve made on their blog, some have contacted me due to posts I’ve  written.  ALL have taken their time to bother in some way.  How can you not like that?

I have started to look forward to A.prompt reply’s apromptreply.wordpress.com  comments as she sounds so very nice, polite and decent.

Opinionated man is the antithesis of me.  He is not scared to offend (I am soooo British – we say sorry for everything.) However, I find his honesty and directness quite thought provoking-–I will add though, for an Opinionated man he does have good manners and left a personal comment on my site.  Does this mean his bark is worse than his bite?  Let’s hope I haven’t just poked a hornets nest…

Moving In With a Boy movinginwithaboy.wordpress.com  I bet,  is  cheeky and fun.

Visiting their blogs feels like the real life equivalent of popping over for a coffee.

See what I mean? Sort of.

I feel some head shaking happening. Oh well.  I told you I would take you on my blogging journey – I never promised it would all make sense.

 

 

 

Posted in Followers, Sites I like, Spam and spammers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments